Food gets brought to the table
Friend/partner: “Shall I wait til you’ve got a picture?”
It’s almost shameful that I can’t seem to go anywhere to eat these days without having to take a photograph of it, and even worse that everyone now knows about it. Honestly, I wish I could stop. My avocado and poached egg combo looks exactly like the last one, at the last ‘insta worthy’ brunch spot I visited but it’s like a drug.
I want to give a giant bear hug to the waiter when they pop me by the table with natural light and growl at the other when they sit me in the corner which resembles a cave. WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?!
But that’s just how it is these days and if you’re going to photograph your shit in a crowded restaurant, you need to have zero shame. Zero shame when you suddenly shoot up from your chair as though you’re about to make a dramatic exit or important speech, when really it’s just to snap that perfect flat lay before your friends tear apart the tapas.
Some of my favourite photo opps come from:
The perfect flat white. Is it a bird? Is it a heart? Is it a leaf? Who cares, its coffee but why god why do I feel like I need to thank my barista for getting it so right. You keep that £4 I just paid for this eggcup sized Java Glen! You’re worth it.
A great interior. Clerkenwell Grind got it spot on with their navy blue and baby pink decor and Bourne and Hollingsworth crushed it with their greenhouse and tropical print vibes – it also shows people I’m about to brunch when I check myself in. Hella cool.
Food markets. Who can go to Borough Market without taking a picture of Bread Ahead’s orgasmic doughnuts? No seriously, CAN YOU?
Quotes. Preferably on a black board, relating to coffee.
Gone are the days where going to meet someone for lunch is a reckless, impulsive date. No hun, I’ll be choosing the destination because I’ve done my research – by consulting my Instagram feed. Let’s travel an extra half an hour out of our way because I heard this place does pink lattes. Sure, it tastes like buttholes because it is in fact BEETROOT in your coffee but just look how pretty it looks on my feed.
Whilst I often draw the line at Acai bowls or vegetable lattes in favour of pancakes drizzled in an unhealthy amount of maple syrup, I am no stranger to this food obsessed culture. Running a food blog, I often feel like I’ve failed in life when I’ve missed the best hours in the day to picture the cake I made (sorry life) and I’m like a woman possessed if I can’t seem to take the ‘right’ picture at all. But when I get it right, it’s like all of this craziness has evaporated from my brain and I feel like moon walking out of that cafe or my own home to continue my great day.
Jokes aside, I am unbelievably passionate about food which comes from a line of food snobs in my family so I WILL spend a series of days researching the best place to eat or weeks if I’m holidaying somewhere new and you will find me crying over something that doesn’t taste right. That’s just me.
As for this fake foodie lifestyle, I’m going to try and curb the habit so to speak by not going somewhere purely because they’re celebrating a new trend or because all the it girls tell you you should. Food is fun, but not everyone wants to go out with the person forcing Quinoa down their throat or making their food go cold.